Being a Loving Parent

One thing that I have been noticing lately is how so many young parents out there think that parenting is all about control. It's like they view their children as naturally wanting to be controling and manipulative. Because children are coming into this world with greater knowledge of their worth and purpose, sometimes they are seen as headstrong and stubborn.


What I invite parents to see is who their children really are and what they are trying to teach us.

What is your children trying say to you? Do you take the time to really listen?

I just got done watching a video of a young 3-year-old trying to voice her fears.
All the time in the background I heard the mother dismissing everything said.

What is the message this little girl is getting?

Could it be: "What you are feeling doesn't matter"

What do you truly want to have the children of today know?
I believe the best gift we can give our children is acceptance and love. This comes when we are truly willing to listen to them and hear what they are feeling. It is realizing that there is worth in the things that they natural know about themselves. As we truly watch a child, we can notice that they are born with a mind that sees things in a whole new way.

Take the time to Listen and Learn.

"And a little child shall teach them".

The Light

Last night I had the opportunity to be a part of a support group.

We all had one thing in common. We had all lost a good friend and were grieving.

Last night I learned so much about the grieving process as Gary Acevedo, the facilitator, talked about his experience with grief. What he had noticed is that if we truly allow ourselves to grief there is an amazing gift at the end of the tunnel. Yet it is only as we allow ourselves to experience the "hell" of truly missing someone with all its emotions that we can reach that gift.

Gary shared that the first almost automatic response to grief is "what could I have done to have stopped this from happening". He compared it to a child experiencing divorce. He pointed out that it is our defenses kicking in. For if we take the blame for the problem. We can also fix the problem. I found myself going into "if only I had been there". It felt like a black hole with no way of getting out.


Blame serves nobody. All it does is take us to a place that we can't even see the possibility of light. What we did next was share in small groups commitments we were making because of the lessons that this had taught us. I noticed as the room became lighter (both in mood and in us connecting with the source of all light). One of the commitment that I made was to always honor that light within me and other.

We are heading into an era of darkness and despair for some. As I see it we have three choices:

1. Surrender to the darkness and have a pity party about life.

2. Surround ourselves with optimistic people that see endless possibilities.

3. Be the Light people are looking for. Discover ways to let your light shine.


It has been my experience that as I choice to Be the Light, I attract people willing to see the end of the tunnel and also choice to Be the Light. So that when my light starts to flicker I had someone their to get it shining once again.

Experiential Trainings

Three years ago I was feeling pretty good about my life.

I was just finishing up my schooling and I was heading for a career that I thought could really make a difference in the world around me. My son on the other hand was an emotional wreck.
He was fighting depression and seeing himself as of little value. I felt helpless as a mother.
His friends however had the "perfect solution". They had this "training" that would help him to see life differently. All it would take is four days of his life and everything would be different.

I look back at how skeptical I was. All I saw was an organization that wanted some money for a temporary fix. I wasn't buying it at all. On my son's 21st birthday came into the room and annouced. "I am going into this training in December. My friends are paying for me to go".

When the four days were over I was amazed at what I say. My son had new live in him.
He enjoyed people and being in the world again. Now there was a part of me that was really worried. What were these people doing? As a worried parent I saw only one way to find out.
So in February 2006 I decided to see for myself.

Well as they say "The rest is history". Now I am creating my own experiencial training for families. It is an opportunity to truly look at how we do relationship within our family. Throughout this year I will be hosting guest events for you to get a taste of what experiential trainings are. Check here from more information and check out our website http://www.lovcol.com/

With my whole heart, Colleen

Heart of Peace is Acceptance

Do you find yourself asking: How do I create Peace?

Whether it is peace within your household, peace at work or simply peace within your own soul;
Sometimes it seems to be challenging to find that peace.

I believe the key to peace is accepting the world around you. I am not saying to give into those things that you find unacceptable. What I am saying is train yourself to simply accept what is at that moment. Instead of saying "If only", try acknowledging what is in that moment.

Example: Instead of saying "I could love you if only you would stop making me so mad"
Acknowledge that the behavior that you experience from that person upsets you and then go inside and discover what it is about yourself that that person reminds you of.

The truth is the only things that bother us about someones behavior is things that we don't want to see in ourselves. It is when I am in denial about that part within myself that seeing that behavior in others triggers anger and pain.